Hello, I’m Sergio. I am a qualified psychotherapist in London, offering sessions in-person and online.
We often learn from a very young age that the price of maintaining a connection with others is to prune parts of ourselves away whilst strengthening others. We might learn that our needs, our desires, pleasures, joy, or even anger and boundaries must go just to keep those around us close. Even worse, this can begin so early on that we may not even have had a chance to know ourselves before we began adapting.
While these strategies helped us survive (and there should be space to honour these creative adaptations), those shunned parts, and the ways we learned to relate to them, stay with us, eventually resurfacing in the most important areas of life: sex, intimacy, and relationships. They show up in sometimes confusing and debilitating ways. Relationally, this can manifest as a constant fear of rejection, a tendency to people-please at the expense of your own boundaries, or alternating between craving closeness and pulling away when things feel too intimate. Sexually, it might look like sexual dysfunction, fluctuating desire, or a deep-seated shame regarding our sexual interests. It can also express itself in compulsive patterns, such as problematic pornography use, compulsive sexual behaviour, or the misuse of substances, and sometimes manifests as depression, fear, or a disconnect between our body and core identity. Ultimately, I believe these behaviours are not things to be fixed, but rather protective parts of ourselves that are waiting to be understood and integrated.
Learning how and why these parts, behaviours, thoughts, and/or dynamics are showing up now, is an integral part of the work I undertake with my clients. Given my core training is integrative, I draw on modalities that I have found consistently effective to explore this: Parts Work (like Internal Family Systems) and Somatic Trauma Therapy for processing deep memories and trauma; structured approaches taken from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) for practical tools and goal-setting; and Attachment theory and relational work (focusing on our connection) to reveal deeper relational patterns to create insight and lasting change. My work is grounded in specialist psychosexual training (still ongoing) with the Contemporary Institute of Clinical Sexology and from my experience in the NHS at 56 Dean Street.
I work with a wide range of individuals and, from November, couples and multi-partner relationships. This includes people who are LGBTQIA+, heterosexual, non-binary, neurodiverse, and those practising non-monogamy or polyamory.
Therapy with me is not about fixing. It is about understanding your reasons, feelings, and behaviours. Once we understand them, you can decide what serves you best.
Qualifications
Contemporary Institute of Clinical Sexology
Diploma in Psychosexual and Relationship Therapy (In Training)
Somatic Trauma Therapy training with Babette Rothschild (In Training)
The Awareness Centre
Diploma in Integrative Counselling and Psychotherapy
Regent’s University
Certificate in Counselling and Psychotherapy
Areas I am passionate about
-
Learn more here.
Issues with intimacy and physical function can feel deeply isolating and often impact your self-esteem. These difficulties frequently stem from a combination of past conditioning, stress, or a disconnection between mind and body.Where would we start? Typically, therapy can begin by exploring the immediate physical and emotional factors affecting your sexual well-being.
And then? From there, the focus can often naturally shift toward uncovering the core beliefs and somatic blocks that influence your physical experience.
-
Navigating conflict, shifting dynamics, or unconventional structures can trigger intense vulnerability and fear of rejection. These challenges usually arise from early attachment styles or unhelpful societal pressure.
Where would we start? Typically, therapy can begin by exploring your current communication and intimacy blocks.
And then? It can be valuable to transition into analysing the foundational attachment dynamics and behavioural loops that shape how you relate to partners.
-
Questioning or expressing who you are can bring up incredible confusion and friction with the world around you. This struggle often comes from navigating deeply internalised societal expectations and the pressure to conform.
Where would we start? Typically, therapy can begin by exploring your current feelings around your identity and self-expression.
And then? A possible next step frequently involves unpicking the systemic pressures and internalised conditioning established by your early (and present) environment.
-
Managing the overlap of substance use and sex can quickly become overwhelming and blur personal boundaries. This dynamic often starts as a way to find connection, escape discomfort, or cope with underlying shame.
Where would we start? Typically, therapy can begin by exploring the immediate triggers and safety of your sexual experiences. This may be in partnership with other agencies for support.
And then? This groundwork makes it easier to later trace the underlying emotional voids and relational history driving the need for substances.
-
Feeling like you have lost control over your behaviours can create a heavy cycle of guilt, secrecy, and self-blame. This pattern is typically a protective mechanism developed to numb painful feelings or manage chronic stress.
Where would we start? Typically, therapy can begin by exploring the cycles of out-of-control behaviour and developing immediate management strategies.
And then? Once stability is established, the work can safely progress into investigating the root emotional injuries and belief systems that sustain the compulsion.
-
Dealing with stigma, safety concerns, and the emotional labour of the industry can place a massive strain on your life and relationships. These difficulties are usually rooted in societal prejudice and the pressure of compartmentalising work from personal life.
Where would we start? Typically, therapy can begin by exploring the immediate professional and personal pressures you face.
And then? Clients often find clarity by subsequently examining how these unique environmental demands interact with their personal boundaries, values, and identity.
-
When viewing habits start to conflict with your real-world connections, it can lead to frustration and a sense of detachment. This reliance often develops as an accessible coping strategy for boredom, loneliness, or relational anxiety and/or trauma.
Where would we start? Typically, therapy can begin by exploring your current usage patterns and identifying practical containment tools.
And then? After addressing the immediate habit, we can look closely at the underlying intimacy deficits or anxiety you might be attempting to soothe.
-
Fearing judgment or misunderstanding from others can make it difficult to fully accept and enjoy your desires. This anxiety often originates from cultural taboos and a lack of affirming spaces to process your interests. Also from a lack of knowledge about sexual fantasies.
Where would we start? Typically, therapy can begin by exploring your specific desires and any immediate internal conflicts.
And then? This grounds the process, allowing us to safely unpack any inherited cultural shame or familial conditioning without pressure.
-
Holding onto desires that conflict with your personal morals or logic can cause intense internal conflict and shame. This distress frequently stems from early moral conditioning or a fear of what these thoughts might mean about you.
Where would we start? Typically, therapy can begin by exploring the specific thoughts or fantasies causing confusion.
And then? The collaborative aim is to ideally separate your intrinsic desires from the critical internal voices and moral rules that generate guilt.
-
Findom dynamics can spiral rapidly, leading to severe financial strain and a loss of personal autonomy. This distress usually traces back to complex power dynamics, underlying psychological vulnerabilities, or compulsive impulses.
Where would we start? Typically, therapy can begin by exploring the immediate financial and emotional boundaries being breached and ways of managing this.
And then? We can then effectively dissect the broader themes of power, control, self-worth, and validation that fuel the dynamic.
-
The discovery of a betrayal can completely shatter your sense of reality, safety, and trust. For the partner who has been betrayed, this crisis triggers profound shock and pain. For the person who stepped outside the relationship, it often leaves a confusing wake of guilt and a pressing need to understand why it happened. These ruptures usually stem from unmet emotional needs, breakdowns in communication, or unresolved individual patterns within the relationship container.
Where would we start? Typically, therapy can begin by exploring the immediate crisis, the emotional shock, and the acute rupture in trust from both perspectives.
And then? As things begin to stabilise, it is highly beneficial to systematically review the historical vulnerabilities, hidden distances, and communication breakdowns that preceded the breach.
-
Finding yourself stuck in the same unhelpful relationship dynamics over and over can feel exhausting and demoralising. These cycles are almost always rooted in early childhood experiences and learned survival strategies.
Where would we start? Typically, therapy can begin by exploring your current recurring relationship conflicts.
And then? Using this baseline allows us to map out your early childhood programming and the adaptive survival strategies you continue to deploy.
-
Living with a persistent heavy cloud or thoughts of ending your life makes the simplest daily tasks feel impossible. These states often develop when your emotional system becomes completely overwhelmed by historic pain, current burnout, or trapped anger.
Where would we start? Typically, therapy can begin by exploring your immediate safety and the weight of your low mood.
And then? From there, we work downward to uncover the stored emotional exhaustion, boundary failures, or unexpressed anger keeping you stuck.
-
Anxiety can manifest in a number of different ways, leaving you feeling constantly on edge or physically exhausted. Usually, this is a part of us trying to resist some unresolved tension, or running on very real present or historical problems/beliefs.
Where would we start? Typically, therapy can begin by exploring how your chronic worry and panic present in your daily life.
And then? This structural understanding leads directly into identifying the specific internal conflicts or past threats that keep your nervous system stuck in a survival response.
-
Trauma can leave you feeling constantly disconnected from your body or stuck in a state of high alert. This happens because the nervous system holds onto past overwhelming events, storing them as physical tension long after the threat has passed.
Where would we start? Typically, therapy can begin by exploring how your body currently tracks safety and threat.
And then? This safely paves the way for processing the specific frozen memories and incomplete defensive responses held in your physiology.
-
It is easy to feel trapped by rigid, negative labels and histories that define who you are. These limiting narratives are usually formed by internalising the critical voices of parents, institutions, or difficult past events.
Where would we start? Typically, therapy can begin by exploring the dominant, restrictive stories you currently hold about yourself.
And then? We then work collaboratively to deconstruct these external perspectives, allowing you to author a more accurate and autonomous version of your history.
-
Trying to live up to conflicting ideas of what it means to be a man can cause a deep sense of alienation and emotional numbness. This struggle is often rooted in rigid cultural conditioning and a lack of space to integrate different parts of your psyche.
Where would we start? Typically, therapy can begin by exploring how societal expectations impact your current sense of self.
And then? We can then utilise archetypal frameworks to map out, balance, and integrate the fragmented parts of your psychological makeup.
Location
Cannon St, EC4N 6NP
(2 min walk from Bank/Monument Station;
1 min walk from Cannon Street Station)