Hello, I’m Sergio. I am a qualified psychotherapist in London, offering sessions in person and online.
We often learn from a very young age that the price of maintaining a connection with others is pruning parts of ourselves away while strengthening others. We might learn our needs, our desires, pleasures, or our joy must go just to keep those around us close. Unfortunately this can begin so early on that we may even lose track of who we were before we began adapting. While these strategies helped us survive, those hidden parts, and the ways we learned to relate to them, stay with us, eventually resurfacing as restlessness, overwhelm, or a type of disconnect from our bodies - or as the very ‘problem’ that brought you here.
I work with how these parts reappear in the most private areas of life: sex, intimacy, and relationships. Here, they may take on other forms: mismatched or low desire, performance anxiety, or shame around kink and BDSM. It can also manifest as compulsive patterns involving chems, porn, sex, financial domination, or as depression and questions about identity.
Learning how and why these parts, behaviours, thoughts, and/or dynamics are showing up now, is a large part of the work I undertake with my clients. My work is grounded in specialist psychosexual training with the Contemporary Institute of Clinical Sexology and from my experience in the NHS at 56 Dean Street. I use principles from Compassion Focused Therapy and Internal Family Systems to help you understand your internal world. As a relational therapist, I also pay attention to the dynamics between us to identify patterns that remain present even if they no longer serve you.
I work with a wide range of individuals and, from November, couples/polycules. This includes people who are LGBTQIA+, heterosexual, non-binary, neurodiverse, and those practicing non-monogamy or polyamory.
Therapy with me is not about fixing. It is about understanding your reasons, feelings, and behaviours. Once we understand them, you can decide what serves you best.
Qualifications
Contemporary Institute of Clinical Sexology
Diploma in Psychosexual and Relationship Therapy (In Training)
Somatic Trauma Therapy training with Babette Rothschild (In Training)
The Awareness Centre
Diploma in Integrative Counselling and Psychotherapy
Regent’s University
Certificate in Counselling and Psychotherapy
Areas I am passionate about
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Whilst I am currently only a student undertaking training, I have already worked with many individuals with concerns around low desire, intimacy difficulties, sexual function challenges, mismatched libidos, exploring sexual identity, and navigating sexual communication issues.
This work is at the heart of what I am interested in.More information can be found here
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Relationships can be difficult to navigate and can change according to the people we connect with. I like to help clients by offering support in a number of ways, including:
Navigating polyamory and open monogamy
Managing multi-partnered relationships and polycule dynamics
Addressing challenges in communication
Establishing and maintaining boundaries
Strengthening bonds within non-traditional relationships
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A large part of my work has been working with clients who have questions or issues related to gender identity and sexual orientation, including:
Navigating the journey of coming out
Coping with discrimination
Exploring gender transition
Discussing aspects of sexual health
Addressing relationship dynamics
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Chemsex can be devastating and destabilising. It can also creep up in one’s life without much warning.
Therapy addressing Chemsex is a structured, holistic process designed to move an individual from immediate risk-reduction to long-term emotional healing. It focuses on replacing drug-reliant habits with authentic self-connection.
The approach can be broken down into three main phases:
1. Immediate Stability and Harm Reduction
The primary focus is addressing urgent behaviours to minimize physical and psychological harm. This involves establishing basic self-care routines and learning to identify early triggers when you aren't feeling your best.
2. Emotional and Relational Rebuilding
Therapy dives deep into the root causes of Chemsex by addressing:
Intimacy & Vulnerability: Learning how to connect with others deeply without the use of substances.
Sexual Identity: Re-connecting with a "natural arousal template" and exploring your sexual self in a sober context.
Relationships: Developing a "map" to navigate healthy connections and social boundaries.
3. Healing the Core Self
To ensure long-lasting change, the process tackles the psychological foundations of the behaviour:
Overcoming Shame: Healing internalised homophobia and dismantling negative core beliefs.
Self-Worth: Transforming self-perception into a reality-based, positive outlook.
Meeting Daily Needs: Learning to identify and fulfil personal needs through healthy, sustainable choices.
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Managing compulsive sexual behaviour requires a structured approach to address the loss of control and the resulting impact on your life and relationships. This behaviour often functions as an unhealthy coping mechanism for underlying emotional distress rather than a simple matter of high libido.
My practice provides an environment to address the cycle of compulsion and its consequences, including:
Identifying Triggers and Patterns: Pinpointing the specific emotional states, stressors, or situational cues that lead to impulsive sexual acting out.
Developing Regulation Strategies: Implementing practical tools to manage urges and interrupt the cycle of escalation before it leads to high-risk behavior.
Addressing Shame and Isolation: Processing the heavy burden of secrecy and guilt that often accompanies compulsive behaviors to foster self-honesty and healing.
Restoring Relational Integrity: Navigating the impact of these behaviors on partners, focusing on honest disclosure and the slow process of regaining reliability.
Creating a Sustainable Maintenance Plan: Establishing clear boundaries and healthy outlets for intimacy to ensure long-term stability and personal growth.
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Through my own experience as a sex worker, I bring an experienced perspective to individuals and the ones surrounding them.
Some areas of focus can be:
Navigating stigma
Managing boundaries
Dealing with occupational stress
Seeking support for personal relationships
Navigating professional relationships
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I approach my practice from a porn-positive perspective—a stance I recognise can sometimes be challenging or unexpected for individuals seeking help in this area. Within this non-judgemental framework, a large part of my work involves supporting clients who are addressing problematic porn use, including:
Understanding personal triggers and compulsive behaviours
Coping with feelings of guilt, shame, and isolation
Exploring the impact on intimate relationships and sexual health
Developing healthier coping mechanisms and establishing boundaries
Navigating the process of recovery and rebuilding self-esteem
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As one of my core focuses, I provide an inclusive and non-judgmental space for clients to explore aspects of kink and BDSM. This could look like:
Navigating consent, communication, and safety
Exploring dom/sub dynamics and lifestyles
Addressing kink shame and stigma
Understanding and expressing sexual identities
Building confidence in kink practices
I have also appeared on podcasts discussing kink, findom, kink shame, and dom/sub dynamics, bringing informed and open perspectives to these topics.
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A large part of my work involves supporting clients who experience distress or anxiety surrounding their sexual fantasies and interests, including:
Working through feelings of shame, guilt, or fear regarding specific desires
Differentiating between sexual fantasies, intrusive thoughts, and real-world intentions
Coping with internal conflict and the fear of judgement
Exploring the meaning and origins of these interests in a safe, non-judgemental space
Building self-acceptance and a healthier relationship with personal sexuality
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I have worked with individuals who have been on either side of infidelity and have seen how confusing and debilitating such an experience can be.
My practice offers a space for both those who have experienced infidelity and those who have been unfaithful, including:
Navigating the aftermath of betrayal for both parties
Rebuilding trust and repairing communication
Exploring underlying factors that contributed to the infidelity
Processing emotions such as guilt, anger, shame, or grief
Clarifying needs, boundaries, and steps for moving forward
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Drawing from my own lived experience of depression, I hold the work of addressing depression and suicidal ideation with incredible importance and deep care. These struggles profoundly shape a person’s life, and I am committed to providing a deeply supportive, compassionate, and non-judgmental space to explore and understand their roots.
My ultimate goal is to develop hope and empower clients to envision and create a life that feels worth living.
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I like to work with clients to understand what makes them feel anxious and find ways to live more peacefully. The goal is to discover what helps you feel calmer and more confident. This might include looking at your thought patterns in a new light, learning simple exercises to stay present, or using breathing techniques to find relief when you feel overwhelmed.
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To ensure I can provide dedicated and high-quality care, I reserve a limited number of spaces for in-depth trauma work.
Status: I currently have room in my practice to accommodate such work.
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A large part of my work involves supporting clients who are navigating the complexities of financial domination and power exchange dynamics, including:
Navigating the boundaries of consensual power exchange
Coping with feelings of shame or societal stigma
Exploring the psychological motivations behind the kink
Discussing financial safety, limits, and harm reduction
Addressing relationship dynamics and communication with partners
Location
Cannon St, EC4N 6NP
(2 min walk from Bank/Monument Station;
1 min walk from Cannon Street Station)